This is a lighthearted post for those who’ve exercised on a treadmill and have been found (sorely) wanting.
For bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things… 1Timothy 4:8
Donned in our fashionable exercise outfits (old sweats and worn out T shirts), my husband, myself, and our two (then) teens headed for the local YMCA to work out. Although it was 6:40 am, we were eager and optimistic. This would be a family thing; we would do this as a team!
Piling out of the car, we headed toward the fitness room. I chose the treadmill for a 20-minute warm-up while my family scattered to other areas. I quickly hopped onto the machine and pushed the red button to begin the torture, ignoring the safety body clip dangling from the bar designed to stop the machine in case of a fall.
“Who’d fall while walking?” I mused silently.
About midway through my warm-up, I noticed my family was nowhere to be seen. I strained to look in all directions — culminating in the unfortunate move I was about to make.
While looking behind me, my right foot accidentally stepped on the stationary platform, while my left foot remained on the conveyor belt. Apparently looking backward with feet engaged on a forward moving conveyor belt is one reason they invented the safety clip.
I’m sure the outcome could have been different had I clipped on the I-don’t-need-this-because-I’m-only-walking emergency stop safety clip. But it was too late.
As I stumbled like a drunkard and fell forward, I grabbed hold of the front bar. My feet were being moved further and further away as if I were in a stretching machine. Too stunned to let go, I experienced a free body exfoliation by a human sander before being carried to the end of the belt and dumped onto the floor.
“Are you OK?” a gentleman exercising next to me asked. I grunted a “yes,” hoping others hadn’t seen my misfortune. “How embarrassing,” an elderly woman remarked. She had her safety belt on. Apparently I was a good object lesson for the importance of following rules.
Nursing both my wounds and pride, I exited the exercise arena walking as if I had undergone two knee replacements. Pain and determination (and indignation) fueled me forward as I searched for my “lets-work-out together” family. I spotted them in the gym, expending little effort as they casually passed a soccer ball to one another.
I hiked my pant legs to reveal the trauma and my shadow darkened the gym door. It proved effective. My family stopped, a look of horror and concern washed over their faces. As I recounted my harrowing experience, a collective exhale and then chuckles followed as they imagined the whole comedic scenario with the killer treadmill.
As we exited the gym and glanced at that treadmill, I silently vowed revenge with it — in another lifetime.
Knowing that bodily discipline is only of little profit compared to benefits of godliness, I resolved to concentrate on the godliness part. It’s much safer.ha
Great story! It made my day. I got a good laugh
I have a friend (ironically also name Jackie…sorta…Jaclyn, actually), who had a miss-hap with a treadmill as well, but hers was worse in that she was holding small hand weights. Ended up giving herself a black eye and had some major deep rug burns on arms and legs. She looked like she'd gotten in a bad fight. We took her a card, some band-aids, and stuffed bunny and made up a song for her to make her feel better. She still has the scars.
Jackie, while bodily exercise is relatively less central than spiritual exercise, I have found that one informs the other, and that, as Paul said, keeping the body conditioned is actually a means of helping the spiritual stay healthy. I'm sure you agree. I've seen too many "saints" go under because they ignored caring for the temple of the Spirit. So, keep at it, skinned knees and all! I've found a recumbent exercise bicycle to be a safer place to warm up!
Rick: Thanks for the compliment — and I'm pleased my retelling of the treadmill incident was able to bring a smile to your day (well, OK,… so a laugh.) =)
Eleno: I can't even IMAGINE having small weights in my hand and doing what your friend did. Yipes! I'd love to hear (or read) the words to the song you made up for her! Do you still remember it? Feel free to share it if you can! I'm sure there are many others who have tripped up on a treadmill! Hmmmm….. or maybe it's just a "jackie / jaclyn" phenomenon?…..
Howard: You warm up on a recumbent exercise bike? I thought that WAS an exercise all of its own! I do agree with you, bro: caring for the temple of the Spirit really is important. Thanks for sharing that important reminder. Note to all: Exercise! (but think twice before stepping on a treadmill). <3
Rather cool blog you've got here. Thanks for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to them. BTW, why don't you change design :).
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your kind words. I am transitioning these to my new blog that I am developing and will be maintaining on a consistent basis.
UPDATE: I had walked away from my writing, but God is calling me back into it. Please stay tuned for more to come. I'll share the details soon!
So glad you're writing again – I will stay tuned! It will be nice not to be "the only one" telling stories of my missteps🤣 – enjoy this one on me:
https://kayrencathcart.wordpress.com/2020/08/14/cold-or-hot/
So glad you're writing again – I will stay tuned! It will be nice not to be "the only one" telling stories of my missteps🤣 – enjoy this one on me:
https://kayrencathcart.wordpress.com/2020/08/14/cold-or-hot/
Oh my goodness, Jackie! Ouch, hhmmm . . . perhaps I’ll start using that safety button! Praise God you are using the talents He has graciously given you. I was delighted to read your text & then your blog for the first time, I did subscribe. Ken & I are over in Senegal visiting our son & his family. What a blessing! ❤
Betty, safety straps are definitely there for a reason! hahaha! I’m honored that you subscribed, Betty, and look forward to connecting!