Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 28-30 ESV
Shame. Rejection. Fear. Defeat. Isolation. Have you ever been under the yoke of unforgiveness? I have. It’s a merciless task-master that straddles our shoulders and drives our emotions and actions. Sometimes it’s thrust upon our backs from others withholding their forgiveness toward us. Sometimes it falls upon us like a heavy weight when we choose to withhold forgiveness toward them.
But there is yet another yoke of unforgiveness — a yoke that is silent, overlooked, and deadly. It is the yoke of me not forgiving myself.
Every time I choose this yoke, I silently lie to myself that I’m in control. I feel if I wear it long enough it will change me into a better person — one who will never do/say/feel that again. Plowing through life with this yoke strapped to my back will help me not offend, hurt, or disappoint others. And if I plow hard enough, maybe the whole mess I made will be paid for, and I’ll finally be able to live with myself. Or so the lie goes.
But that’s not walking in the forgiveness Jesus offers me.
When I want to run and hide due to shame, Jesus says come. He invites me in the midst of watching me toil under that heavy yoke. He doesn’t give me more work or fields to plow in punishment; He gives me rest.
I love a picture I once saw of an ancient yoke. It had two differently sized neck harnesses — one big, and one small. When a young ox was being trained to plow, it would be paired with a mature ox. The bigger animal did all the work and pulled all the weight. The younger one had to merely learn to walk alongside. Do you see a beautiful word picture here?
Jesus says His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. In fact, Jesus mentions the idea of rest not just once, but twice. Twice!
Where our yoke of not forgiving ourselves results in shame, His yoke results in freedom. Where our yoke is worn through rejection, His yoke is worn through invitation. Where our yoke produces fear, His yoke produces security. Where our yoke provides defeat, His yoke provides strength. And where our yoke drives us to isolation, His yoke drives us to Himself.
Jesus goes beyond the mere granting of forgiveness. He woos us back to Himself where He takes the responsibility of doing all the heavy lifting. Our first step in the journey is choosing His yoke over our own, and accepting His invitation to walk beside Him.
So, which yoke of unforgiveness — others not forgiving you, you not forgiving others, or you not forgiving yourself — are you most vulnerable to? Talk to the Lord about it. Feel free to use this starter prayer and finish it in your own words: Oh Lord, my heart is tired and weary. I’ve worked under a yoke of unforgiveness for so long, I can’t even imagine what rest looks like. Change me; train me! I’m weary and heavy-laden and ask You to free me from this yoke of___________ (finish the prayer in your own words)